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DRT1.4.2: Me and the School and I (The First Half), section 2
Find previous chapters at the Navigation Index.
Danganronpa Togami Volume 1: Multiple Counts of Attempted World Domination
Chapter 4: Me and the School and I (The First Half)
2
((Extra Special Translator's Note Here! Like last time, thanks to Ankari, you can listen to the harmony of the song right here!))
"It's Gotta Take Some Clout to Conglomerate"
Lyrics: Hiroyukiâ—‡Ketouin
Composition: Junk Garnet
My company keeps winning, la la la la, my schedule's unforgiving
The proof that I'm here living is in my property tax
It's a personal proclivity for sheep and servants to line up, see
My graduation ceremony was the spring when I was five
The second summer of junior high, otaku I would fight
At my holiday home at the lakeside, a death game came to light
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
I go to Kagawa to buy some udon[1]
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
I use hectares to measure my garden
I know Ginza really well![2]
I only hope the reason is all the kindness living in the world
My company keeps winning, la la la la, the government's listening
As a joke I will be giving Tetsurou a mecha but then take it apart[3]
I teach maids familiarity with ninja promiscuity
There's liquified vulgarity all over the mansion bedrooms
I'm gonna throw a tantrum till I get my own Migi[4]
The professors are working on a spotted garden eel
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
I buy as many koi fish as I should
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
The flames Game Fund went down in grill them good[5]
My sofa is real leather!
I only hope the reason is all the kindness living in the world
WRYYYYYYY![6]
As we listened to (or, tuned out, as the case may be) the denpa song[7] streaming from the cutting-edge, state-of-the-art sound system in the car, we chased after Byakuya-sama.
Hiroyuki-san was keeping the pedal to the metal, racing the Mercedes down the road. Our gas was at about 60%. The car was well maintained. We could go as fast as we wanted. Fast enough to make us sick sounded about right. We could go anywhere in this car.
What was this?
"I make denpa songs as a hobby, but this is the first one I've really been satisfied with, so it's a favorite of mine. Though it'd be tough to get up on the level of Denki Groove or Henshitai. It's hard to reach zen enlightenment."
"Please take this more seriously."
"The song?"
"I don't care about your hobby. I'm talking about your attitude."
"So this is about the song," Hiroyuki-san said, smiling bitterly. "I've got your precious little prodigy. Don't worry about it."
A white dot was moving at an incredible speed across the navigation screen, tracking the location of the GPS receiver in Byakuya-sama. Countless wriggling green dots probably represented an estimation of the crowds of people. They spread out, with Prague at the center. The white dot, too, was heading straight to Prague.
The Mercedes sped down European route E67, chasing after Byakuya-sama. The road looked like it had been formed by cutting the desolate Earth down the middle, similar to the scenery in Hokkaido. But I don't need to waste my time describing the scenery, when it would be better spent telling you how we managed to escape the Church of Bones.
Well then. Back to business.
BORGES=LOGLOOKUP
#61998325
TITLE "RUSH JOB"
(The Church of Bones is collapsing. Cracks run up the steeple we are standing on, and our footing becomes unsteady.)
ME: Wh-What should we do...
HIROYUKI: It's gonna collapse any minute now!
(A remarkably loud roar resounds as it caves in. We both fall.)
ME: Ohhhh noooo!
HIROYUKI: Don't worry! (snapping his fingers with a broad gesture)
(The Mercedes arrives via remote control at a ferocious speed. The roof automatically opens up to make it an open-air car, and we fall into the seats as if we are being sucked in.)
HIROYUKI: Made it just in time for the party!
ME: Wait, if you could do something like this, why didn't you just do it from the beginning?
HIROYUKI: (scratching his head) Haha, you got me there!
A lazy explanation? Perhaps, but only because I'm still irritated about it.
"How dare you play around like that when your own sister was kidnapped?" I glared at Hiroyuki-san from the back seat.
"Those classmates of yours must have been playing around too, right?" Hiroyuki-san switched to the radio. "'Cuz if they were being serious, they're pretty fucking psycho. I'm surprised Janet Leigh wasn't there."[8]
The radio was set to a news station with constant updates on the riots. Borges had finally managed to get online, and according to the information I could retrieve that way, along with the mail I'd gotten... though I wasn't really sure about the details or how trustworthy the information was... I determined that while the World Domination Proclamation was happening, locked room murders were happening across the globe, and it might be wise to consider the possibility that those events were related. Additionally, judging from their conversation at the Church of Bones, there was a very high possibility that Princess Sonia and Souda-san were connected to Byakuya-sama's imposter. I didn't want to believe it, but the idea that my classmates had gone off the deep end was well substantiated.
And if that was the case—the "pitiful cattle" they were looking for...
"Not only are they fuckin' psycho, but they've got their pop on the wrong foot too," Hiroyuki-san continued. "Mmmnnn, I wish I had some kind of word to really express the situation here. Like, y'know, they're psycho... and they're pop in that kind of way, like they're psycho but also pop... Psychopop! That's the word I'm thinking of! I came up with it, so I own the rights! That's motherfucking originality right there!"
"OH my God, just SHUT UP already, you turtle."
I didn't say that.
The satellite phone that was resting on the back seat was showing a heavily made-up girl in the center of its screen. It was Junko Enoshima-san, from our flying column.[9] She looked kind of sulky.
"Turtle?" Hiroyuki-san turned around, a look of surprise on his face. "Where did that come from?"
"Ahahahaha! I dunno, but don't you seem kinda turtley?"
"Uh, rude. I don't need to hear that from someone who's named after an island whose specialty is raw whitebait."
"Shut up and drive, Turtleboy."
"Ughhhhh!"
Oh, I guess they actually get along pretty well. That's a relief.
"Actually, Enoshima-san, what happened to Fukawa-san? I don't see her."
"Oh my God, you have to listen to this! So like, about that, Fukawa, like, left the school."
"She what?"
"So like earlier, Senpai, you sent us an email about Togami being kidnapped, right? So Fukawa totally lost her MIND after that. And she was like—okay, hold on, I'm gonna give you a Junko-chan-style impression of what she said. 'B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-was-was-was-was-was-was-was-BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!'"
Wow. Uncanny!
"So Fukawa is like, going to the international airport now. She said she's gonna go to Prague."
"That's a problem," my true thoughts slipped out.
"Oh, you think it's a problem for you! What about me?! Now she left me here to fend for myself all alone, and my sister isn't here, and I've been up all night so my makeup is all over the place, and I'm tired, and I haven't had anything to eat, and I'm like, seriously about to drop any minute now!"
In Prague, it was 11:20 PM. That meant that in Japan, it was 6:20 AM. That seemed like a pretty rough timezone for her to pull an all-nighter without eating anything...
"Enoshima-san, why didn't you go look after her?"
"I'm hiding in the gym's supply room right now."
"Gym supply room!" Hiroyuki-san shouted, for some reason. "So the gyaru's finally gonna give us some fanservice! France Shoin is rush printing a new release in my heart![10] Congrats on the release of Superbeast Legend V3!"
"Y'know, Turtle seems like he's way less popular with the ladies than he thinks he is."
"I thought the same thing."
"Ughhhh!"
"So, Enoshima-san, why did you go back into the gym's supply room, of all places?"
"Teachers keep coming back to the school, and like, at first I thought I could get them to save me and stuff. But actually like, y'know, my whatever sense is tingling? I have a really bad feeling?"
"Bad feeling?"
"It kinda seems like the teachers know who the fake Togami is." Enoshima-san dropped a bombshell while she was busy organizing her makeup kit.
"Ah... Who is it?"
"Um, lemme ask you a question instead. Do you know the Super High School Level Imposter?"
It was true that Hope's Peak Academy had several students whose personalities could make them something like hidden characters, such as the Super High School Level Secret Agent, and the Super High School Level Absentee Club Member.
...How is the Imposter doing?
Those were Princess Sonia's words. But I had absolutely no idea who she was talking about.
"We have a student like that?"
"Don't ask me! I just heard the teachers talking about it. That like, there's a Super High School Level Imposter, and that like maybe they were doing stuff in Togami's place. But also that like, they should hide that during the conference?"
"Hold on, Enoshima-san. What conference?"
"The school's setting up for a press conference thing."
"But you said they're going to try and cover up the fact that there's a Super High School Level Imposter?"
"Ahahaha! Like, I know, right! This is a total scandal!"
"They can't just get away with hiding something like that."
"Well don't look at me."
"Can't you do something?"
"I just said don't look at me! You can't ask a gyaru to take care of something like this... Oh! Tee hee, silly me~! I just remembered how to take care of this!" Enoshima-san took a scrap of paper out of her cleavage. "So, uhhh, here's my repooort."
"Report?"
"It's time for a pop quiiiiz."
"What happened to the report?"
"Multiple choice question! Which of the following talents is good at resolving incidents~? 1) Gyaru. 2) Gyaru Detective. 3) Non-Gyaru Detective."
"Number 3."
"Ding ding diiiing! You got it right away! So like, in my class, there's this broody girl that's the Super High School Level Detective, and so like, she gave me a message for Togami." She unfolded the scrap of paper. "Ahahaha! Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot that I wrote a memo so that I wouldn't forget! That's Junko-chan for you! Sometimes I'm just like a dime-a-dozen token idiot character, I swear!"
"Hurry up and read it."
"Okay, okay. Uhh, let's see... It says, 'Remember the past.'"
At that moment—that voice began to play, from the car radio, and from the emergency disaster warning speakers, and from Borges.
"This may be sudden, but I will now announce the next bonus stage."
"There you are," Hiroyuki-san said, turning up the volume. "I know what he's gonna say next. 'Whoever finds me in the next hour gets a cash prize.'"
Then, the fake said, "I am somewhere in the Czech Republic. Whoever finds me shall be rewarded," which was basically right on the money.
"Damn, Turtle! How did you know?!"
"Those guys lost back at the Church of Bones, and not only did the young master get snatched up by the Hasegawa Research Institute, but they probably can't find out where we went either. If that's the case, then the only thing they can do is light a fire under the masses to get them to go over the country with a fine-tooth comb."
BORGES=LOGLOOKUP
#01799012
TITLE "WORLD DOMINATION PROCLAMATION (3)"
This may be sudden, but I will now announce the next bonus stage.
I am somewhere in the Czech Republic. Whoever finds me shall be rewarded.
However, there is something I wish to tell you beforehand. To tell you the truth, I'm fed up with the snail's pace you simpletons are moving at. My irritation has hit its boiling point.
When you are slow, you are damaging. Regardless of whether or not you have motivation or talent, I wish death to all dawdlers. By which I mean, die. By which I mean, speed it up. By which I mean, come to me.
I will not impose a set time limit on this bonus stage, but in the event that I am not found, you will be penalized. You understand my meaning, don't you?
I am being serious about this. Allow me to demonstrate that once again. That is all.
Translator's Notes
[1] Kagawa - Kagawa Prefecture is famous for its udon.
[2] Ginza - Ginza is a very upscale shopping district in Tokyo.
[3] Tetsurou - the main character of Galaxy Express 999, who seeks a mechanized body.
[4] Migi - a creature from Parasyte that inhabits the main character's right hand.
[5] Game Fund - as a sort of proto-Kickstarter, Konami started something called Game Fund: Tokimeki Memorial to help get fans to invest in making the third Tokimeki Memorial dating sim. It worked okay, but the game wasn't very popular in the end.
[6] WRYYY - Dio Brando's famous cry from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.
[7] denpa song - a niche Japanese music fad. To quote the article, it often features "lyrics that are nonsensical or contain otaku-related themes", with "intentionally off-key vocals".
[8] Janet Leigh - actress from the movie Psycho.
[9] flying column - to quote the Random House dictionary, "a force of troops equipped and organized to move swiftly and independently of a principal unit to which it is attached." So Blue Ink considers Junko to be working for Togami, just remotely.
[10] France Shoin - a Japanese publisher of erotica. On the website you can look at the sexually suggestive book covers to get an idea.
Stay tuned for the next update next Sunday (PST)!
Feel free to comment, keeping these rules in mind!
Danganronpa Togami Volume 1: Multiple Counts of Attempted World Domination
Chapter 4: Me and the School and I (The First Half)
2
((Extra Special Translator's Note Here! Like last time, thanks to Ankari, you can listen to the harmony of the song right here!))
"It's Gotta Take Some Clout to Conglomerate"
Lyrics: Hiroyukiâ—‡Ketouin
Composition: Junk Garnet
My company keeps winning, la la la la, my schedule's unforgiving
The proof that I'm here living is in my property tax
It's a personal proclivity for sheep and servants to line up, see
My graduation ceremony was the spring when I was five
The second summer of junior high, otaku I would fight
At my holiday home at the lakeside, a death game came to light
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
I go to Kagawa to buy some udon[1]
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
I use hectares to measure my garden
I know Ginza really well![2]
I only hope the reason is all the kindness living in the world
My company keeps winning, la la la la, the government's listening
As a joke I will be giving Tetsurou a mecha but then take it apart[3]
I teach maids familiarity with ninja promiscuity
There's liquified vulgarity all over the mansion bedrooms
I'm gonna throw a tantrum till I get my own Migi[4]
The professors are working on a spotted garden eel
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
I buy as many koi fish as I should
It's gotta take some clout to conglomerate
The flames Game Fund went down in grill them good[5]
My sofa is real leather!
I only hope the reason is all the kindness living in the world
WRYYYYYYY![6]
As we listened to (or, tuned out, as the case may be) the denpa song[7] streaming from the cutting-edge, state-of-the-art sound system in the car, we chased after Byakuya-sama.
Hiroyuki-san was keeping the pedal to the metal, racing the Mercedes down the road. Our gas was at about 60%. The car was well maintained. We could go as fast as we wanted. Fast enough to make us sick sounded about right. We could go anywhere in this car.
What was this?
"I make denpa songs as a hobby, but this is the first one I've really been satisfied with, so it's a favorite of mine. Though it'd be tough to get up on the level of Denki Groove or Henshitai. It's hard to reach zen enlightenment."
"Please take this more seriously."
"The song?"
"I don't care about your hobby. I'm talking about your attitude."
"So this is about the song," Hiroyuki-san said, smiling bitterly. "I've got your precious little prodigy. Don't worry about it."
A white dot was moving at an incredible speed across the navigation screen, tracking the location of the GPS receiver in Byakuya-sama. Countless wriggling green dots probably represented an estimation of the crowds of people. They spread out, with Prague at the center. The white dot, too, was heading straight to Prague.
The Mercedes sped down European route E67, chasing after Byakuya-sama. The road looked like it had been formed by cutting the desolate Earth down the middle, similar to the scenery in Hokkaido. But I don't need to waste my time describing the scenery, when it would be better spent telling you how we managed to escape the Church of Bones.
Well then. Back to business.
BORGES=LOGLOOKUP
#61998325
TITLE "RUSH JOB"
(The Church of Bones is collapsing. Cracks run up the steeple we are standing on, and our footing becomes unsteady.)
ME: Wh-What should we do...
HIROYUKI: It's gonna collapse any minute now!
(A remarkably loud roar resounds as it caves in. We both fall.)
ME: Ohhhh noooo!
HIROYUKI: Don't worry! (snapping his fingers with a broad gesture)
(The Mercedes arrives via remote control at a ferocious speed. The roof automatically opens up to make it an open-air car, and we fall into the seats as if we are being sucked in.)
HIROYUKI: Made it just in time for the party!
ME: Wait, if you could do something like this, why didn't you just do it from the beginning?
HIROYUKI: (scratching his head) Haha, you got me there!
A lazy explanation? Perhaps, but only because I'm still irritated about it.
"How dare you play around like that when your own sister was kidnapped?" I glared at Hiroyuki-san from the back seat.
"Those classmates of yours must have been playing around too, right?" Hiroyuki-san switched to the radio. "'Cuz if they were being serious, they're pretty fucking psycho. I'm surprised Janet Leigh wasn't there."[8]
The radio was set to a news station with constant updates on the riots. Borges had finally managed to get online, and according to the information I could retrieve that way, along with the mail I'd gotten... though I wasn't really sure about the details or how trustworthy the information was... I determined that while the World Domination Proclamation was happening, locked room murders were happening across the globe, and it might be wise to consider the possibility that those events were related. Additionally, judging from their conversation at the Church of Bones, there was a very high possibility that Princess Sonia and Souda-san were connected to Byakuya-sama's imposter. I didn't want to believe it, but the idea that my classmates had gone off the deep end was well substantiated.
And if that was the case—the "pitiful cattle" they were looking for...
"Not only are they fuckin' psycho, but they've got their pop on the wrong foot too," Hiroyuki-san continued. "Mmmnnn, I wish I had some kind of word to really express the situation here. Like, y'know, they're psycho... and they're pop in that kind of way, like they're psycho but also pop... Psychopop! That's the word I'm thinking of! I came up with it, so I own the rights! That's motherfucking originality right there!"
"OH my God, just SHUT UP already, you turtle."
I didn't say that.
The satellite phone that was resting on the back seat was showing a heavily made-up girl in the center of its screen. It was Junko Enoshima-san, from our flying column.[9] She looked kind of sulky.
"Turtle?" Hiroyuki-san turned around, a look of surprise on his face. "Where did that come from?"
"Ahahahaha! I dunno, but don't you seem kinda turtley?"
"Uh, rude. I don't need to hear that from someone who's named after an island whose specialty is raw whitebait."
"Shut up and drive, Turtleboy."
"Ughhhhh!"
Oh, I guess they actually get along pretty well. That's a relief.
"Actually, Enoshima-san, what happened to Fukawa-san? I don't see her."
"Oh my God, you have to listen to this! So like, about that, Fukawa, like, left the school."
"She what?"
"So like earlier, Senpai, you sent us an email about Togami being kidnapped, right? So Fukawa totally lost her MIND after that. And she was like—okay, hold on, I'm gonna give you a Junko-chan-style impression of what she said. 'B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Bya-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-Byakuya-sama-was-was-was-was-was-was-was-BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!'"
Wow. Uncanny!
"So Fukawa is like, going to the international airport now. She said she's gonna go to Prague."
"That's a problem," my true thoughts slipped out.
"Oh, you think it's a problem for you! What about me?! Now she left me here to fend for myself all alone, and my sister isn't here, and I've been up all night so my makeup is all over the place, and I'm tired, and I haven't had anything to eat, and I'm like, seriously about to drop any minute now!"
In Prague, it was 11:20 PM. That meant that in Japan, it was 6:20 AM. That seemed like a pretty rough timezone for her to pull an all-nighter without eating anything...
"Enoshima-san, why didn't you go look after her?"
"I'm hiding in the gym's supply room right now."
"Gym supply room!" Hiroyuki-san shouted, for some reason. "So the gyaru's finally gonna give us some fanservice! France Shoin is rush printing a new release in my heart![10] Congrats on the release of Superbeast Legend V3!"
"Y'know, Turtle seems like he's way less popular with the ladies than he thinks he is."
"I thought the same thing."
"Ughhhh!"
"So, Enoshima-san, why did you go back into the gym's supply room, of all places?"
"Teachers keep coming back to the school, and like, at first I thought I could get them to save me and stuff. But actually like, y'know, my whatever sense is tingling? I have a really bad feeling?"
"Bad feeling?"
"It kinda seems like the teachers know who the fake Togami is." Enoshima-san dropped a bombshell while she was busy organizing her makeup kit.
"Ah... Who is it?"
"Um, lemme ask you a question instead. Do you know the Super High School Level Imposter?"
It was true that Hope's Peak Academy had several students whose personalities could make them something like hidden characters, such as the Super High School Level Secret Agent, and the Super High School Level Absentee Club Member.
...How is the Imposter doing?
Those were Princess Sonia's words. But I had absolutely no idea who she was talking about.
"We have a student like that?"
"Don't ask me! I just heard the teachers talking about it. That like, there's a Super High School Level Imposter, and that like maybe they were doing stuff in Togami's place. But also that like, they should hide that during the conference?"
"Hold on, Enoshima-san. What conference?"
"The school's setting up for a press conference thing."
"But you said they're going to try and cover up the fact that there's a Super High School Level Imposter?"
"Ahahaha! Like, I know, right! This is a total scandal!"
"They can't just get away with hiding something like that."
"Well don't look at me."
"Can't you do something?"
"I just said don't look at me! You can't ask a gyaru to take care of something like this... Oh! Tee hee, silly me~! I just remembered how to take care of this!" Enoshima-san took a scrap of paper out of her cleavage. "So, uhhh, here's my repooort."
"Report?"
"It's time for a pop quiiiiz."
"What happened to the report?"
"Multiple choice question! Which of the following talents is good at resolving incidents~? 1) Gyaru. 2) Gyaru Detective. 3) Non-Gyaru Detective."
"Number 3."
"Ding ding diiiing! You got it right away! So like, in my class, there's this broody girl that's the Super High School Level Detective, and so like, she gave me a message for Togami." She unfolded the scrap of paper. "Ahahaha! Oh my God, I can't believe I forgot that I wrote a memo so that I wouldn't forget! That's Junko-chan for you! Sometimes I'm just like a dime-a-dozen token idiot character, I swear!"
"Hurry up and read it."
"Okay, okay. Uhh, let's see... It says, 'Remember the past.'"
At that moment—that voice began to play, from the car radio, and from the emergency disaster warning speakers, and from Borges.
"This may be sudden, but I will now announce the next bonus stage."
"There you are," Hiroyuki-san said, turning up the volume. "I know what he's gonna say next. 'Whoever finds me in the next hour gets a cash prize.'"
Then, the fake said, "I am somewhere in the Czech Republic. Whoever finds me shall be rewarded," which was basically right on the money.
"Damn, Turtle! How did you know?!"
"Those guys lost back at the Church of Bones, and not only did the young master get snatched up by the Hasegawa Research Institute, but they probably can't find out where we went either. If that's the case, then the only thing they can do is light a fire under the masses to get them to go over the country with a fine-tooth comb."
BORGES=LOGLOOKUP
#01799012
TITLE "WORLD DOMINATION PROCLAMATION (3)"
This may be sudden, but I will now announce the next bonus stage.
I am somewhere in the Czech Republic. Whoever finds me shall be rewarded.
However, there is something I wish to tell you beforehand. To tell you the truth, I'm fed up with the snail's pace you simpletons are moving at. My irritation has hit its boiling point.
When you are slow, you are damaging. Regardless of whether or not you have motivation or talent, I wish death to all dawdlers. By which I mean, die. By which I mean, speed it up. By which I mean, come to me.
I will not impose a set time limit on this bonus stage, but in the event that I am not found, you will be penalized. You understand my meaning, don't you?
I am being serious about this. Allow me to demonstrate that once again. That is all.
Translator's Notes
[1] Kagawa - Kagawa Prefecture is famous for its udon.
[2] Ginza - Ginza is a very upscale shopping district in Tokyo.
[3] Tetsurou - the main character of Galaxy Express 999, who seeks a mechanized body.
[4] Migi - a creature from Parasyte that inhabits the main character's right hand.
[5] Game Fund - as a sort of proto-Kickstarter, Konami started something called Game Fund: Tokimeki Memorial to help get fans to invest in making the third Tokimeki Memorial dating sim. It worked okay, but the game wasn't very popular in the end.
[6] WRYYY - Dio Brando's famous cry from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure.
[7] denpa song - a niche Japanese music fad. To quote the article, it often features "lyrics that are nonsensical or contain otaku-related themes", with "intentionally off-key vocals".
[8] Janet Leigh - actress from the movie Psycho.
[9] flying column - to quote the Random House dictionary, "a force of troops equipped and organized to move swiftly and independently of a principal unit to which it is attached." So Blue Ink considers Junko to be working for Togami, just remotely.
[10] France Shoin - a Japanese publisher of erotica. On the website you can look at the sexually suggestive book covers to get an idea.
Stay tuned for the next update next Sunday (PST)!
Feel free to comment, keeping these rules in mind!