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DRT1.3.11: Threeway Battle, section 11
Find previous chapters at the Navigation Index.
Danganronpa Togami Volume 1: Multiple Counts of Attempted World Domination
Chapter 3: Threeway Battle
11
"Citizens, you must not do this. Please, stop. Do not touch the merchandiiise!"
"Hey, what the hell! I told you, no touching that without permission!"
Princess Sonia and Souda-san couldn't handle the crowd. Appearing openly as students of Hope's Peak Academy had backfired on them, in the sense that they couldn't start killing off the people of Prague as easily as they had before.
The people of the crowd were giving it their all against the odds. Some were now trying to climb the crane and usurp the platform Princess Sonia was standing on. It was true that taking that platform might have been the quickest available route to reach Byakuya-sama.
"Citizens, please step down. It is dangerous. Only Japanese firefighters can do such a thing! There is something called the dezome-shiki..."[1]
Princess Sonia's trivia was drowned out by an ear-splitting noise. A high-pitched sound that felt like it would shatter my eardrums... no, it felt like it would break my ears entirely. I reflexively covered them, but a stabbing pain still laid waste to the inside of my head.
Next came a sudden gust that rocked the steeple. "Ooohhhh nooooooo!" Princess Sonia's slender body seemed to drift off of the platform, and she was blown far off into the distance. If she were Baikinman, there's no doubt this is where she'd be shouting "Bye-baikiiin!"[2]
What the hell is going on?
Before I realized it, the whole site had become shrouded in massive clouds of dust kicked up from the earth. And from within it, I saw a new silhouette appear. A giant, unshapely shadow.
When it finally appeared into proper view, I could see that it was an unbelievably outrageous vehicle. What had once been a transport vehicle was now loaded with two jet engines that looked almost like crab's claws. I couldn't tell what meaning or purpose it had. It wasn't quite a weapon and it wasn't quite a vehicle—it was just extremely lopsided.
Like a true Millennial, I immediately turned to my search engine in my time of need.
BORGES=SEARCHRESULT
#41908870
CLASS\WEAPONS
TITLE "URAGAN"
A mine clearance vehicle developed by the Czechoslovak People's Army in the 1960s. Originally conceived of as a machine to melt snow at airports, it uses jet exhaust to strip away the ground's surface layer, causing landmines to be blown away; since detonating the mines was more economical, it was retired from military service, and ways to further repurpose it have been developed. However, in practice, the unusual amount of dirt that is kicked up in the process of using it does not make it much more efficient for any type of personnel to use, so plans were frozen.
There were two people riding on that failure of a weapon. They were both wearing white lab coats. One was a red-headed man who was carrying an umbrella despite the perfect fair weather. The other was a girl who I couldn't possibly see as older than an elementary school student, who was nevertheless the one controlling the Uragan.
The whirr of the jet engines reverberating, they sacrilegiously rode the Uragan over the gravestones to approach the Church of Bones.
"Mmm mmph. MmmMMMmmph." Hiroyuki-san sounded like he was trying to say something. Was he still doing the zipping his lips thing?
"Forget about that, just, please tell me whatever it is."
"Those guys are from the Hasegawa Research Institute!"
BORGES=SEARCHRESULT
#65926750
CLASS\INSTITUTIONS
TITLE "HASEGAWA RESEARCH INSTITUTE"
Directed by Yoshinobu Hasegawa, this research institute is not limited to a specific field, but performs research for all disciplines. A highly confidential institution, they do not publish a single report or paper on the results of their research. Though the administrative offices operate out of the famous enterprise MacGuffin Computers Inc. (USA), they have consistently refused to comment on the Hasegawa Research Institute.
Even to someone like me, who had deeper involvement with conglomerates and organizations than the average person, the Hasegawa Research Institute was something of an urban legend. Everyone knew it was there. Everyone knew its name and location. But nobody knew anyone who actually worked there. There was no shortage of rumors—friends of friends developing new medications, acquaintances of acquaintances doing human experimentation at a facility deep in the mountains, and so on—but the number of people who actually knew anything for sure was a big fat zero.
"The Hasegawa Research Institute? You don't mean the Hasegawa Research Institute, do you?" So, even a question like that wasn't totally pointless for me to ask.
"I think that's the only one there is." Hiroyuki-san shrugged.
"The Hasegawa Research Institute wants Byakuya-sama too?"
"To be more precise, it's the Secret to the Togami Family's Prosperity that they're after. There's tons of people who want to get their hands on that. The Ketouin Conglomerate and the Hasegawa Research Institute are just the tip of the iceberg."
I would have liked to have heard more details, but the world wasn't about to wait. As soon as I thought I heard that high-pitched, ear-splitting noise again... the sound of the jet engines in motion... the Uragan had already begun its attack. Bakkooooom! The picture of Princess Sonia's face on the side of the cargo container collapsed in on itself violently. Souda-san sat panicking in the driver's seat without actually moving the dekotora.
"Souda-san, evasive maneeeeuuuveeers!" Princess Sonia's voice. I saw her drifting on the wind, parachute open.
But the dekotora did not move, and the Uragan, merciless, took the opportunity to assault the cargo container with the pressure from its jet engines. Bakoom bakoom bakoom! Pop pop pop!
Part of the crowd got caught up in the blast, smashed like cherry tomatoes. Maybe the rest of them realized that the difficulty level of this bonus stage was far beyond their ability, because they fled from the vicinity like newborn spiders scattering.
"Hmph. What boring idiots," Byakuya-sama huffed, displeased. "If they cling to their lives so desperately, they shouldn't have tried to play the game in the first place."
"Souda-san, please move the dekotora!" Princess Sonia ran up to take the crowd's place, her parachute now gone.
"Sonia-san, even if you're the one asking me to do it, that still doesn't make me able to do it!" Souda-san poked his head out of the driver's seat window, half-crying. "I seriously can't! I'm gonna get carsick and throw up right away..."
Princess Sonia, likely realizing that Souda-san wasn't willing to negotiate his boundaries, threw him out and started driving the dekotora herself.
The grounds weren't very large, so the two weapons moved around in circles, knocking down gravestones like dominoes as they went. The giant tires kicked up dirt and flowers, leaving countless tire tracks. Princess Sonia had some pretty decent driving techniques, and she circled around to end up behind the Uragan. Since the Uragan could only attack from the front, it couldn't do anything now except try its hardest to dodge.
"H-Hiiieeekk..." Souda-san was running around, avoiding the lumps of iron swerving to and fro.
"Souda-san, what are you doing over there?"
"You're the one who friggin' shoved me out of the truck, Sonia-san!"
"Hurry and hop on the dekotora."
"That is impossible in SO many ways! I'm gonna bawl and hurl everywhere!"
"But I cannot combine by myself."
"Come again?"
"I would like to combine with you, Souda-san."
"Come again?"
"As I said, I would like to combine..."
"Sonia-san. I'm taking a high-res audio recording now, so can you say that same thing one more time?"
"Just hurry and get in!" He'd pissed her off.
It might be appropriate to say it was like the adrenaline rush someone gets at the scene of the fire—in an astounding display of reflexes, Souda-san grabbed onto the moving dekotora and pulled himself up into the driver's seat.
"Jack oooooonnnnnnn!"[3]
The instant that Princess Sonia's sonorous shout rang out, the kerchank kerchank of mechanical movement started up. Arms extended, legs came out, and what emerged was—
"Prepare to face the Boss Dekotora!"
A humanoid robot. It was a robot that was very passionately designed to look like a stereotypical juvenile delinquent, like the kind you would find around high schools in Hiroshima. The driver's seat was now positioned in the robot's chest, and in it sat Princess Sonia, smiling ear to ear, and Souda-san, blue in the face.
It would have been crass to stoop so low as to make fun of this thing, so everyone begrudgingly let it slide. The Boss Dekotora spread its limbs to mitigate the knockback, and fired a cannon with a shout of "Back Button Fire!" The Uragan, which couldn't be expected to have very strong defenses, turned very forcefully to avoid it, but the Boss Dekotora immediately aimed again, and with a "Delinquent High School Beam!", I'm not entirely sure why but, it fired another bullet. The Uragan couldn't turn fast enough to dodge.
Boom!
However... the bullet flew off in a completely different direction, exploding in midair.
"How weak," came a voice. "Attacks from those who will not settle things with their fists are all too weak."
In the middle of this battlefield where weapon was clashing against weapon stood a flesh and blood human being. This person stood tall, arms crossed and legs spread apart, and—were they giving a speech right there on the battlefield?
"The call of the heavens. The call of the earth. The call of the people. They call me to vanquish despair. Heed my words, fellowship of despair. I am the warrior of hope, the Masked Muscle!"
Although, no matter how I looked at them, I couldn't see them being anyone other than Oogami-san in a mask...
Translator's Notes
[1] dezome-shiki - literally "debut ceremony", it is an annual firefighters' event held on New Year's, where firefighters traditionally present firefighting techniques to the public... and also do really cool stunts on ladders.
[2] Baikinman - the main villain from the popular children's series Anpanman, and "baibaikin" is what he says when he's defeated and blown away, similar to Team Rocket's blasting off again. It's a portmanteau of "bye-bye" and "baikin" (bacteria), from his name.
[3] Jack on! - the phrase used in the anime Armored Police Metal Jack to start the armor transformation sequence. Like in this video!
Stay tuned for the next update next Sunday (PST)!
Feel free to comment, keeping these rules in mind!
Danganronpa Togami Volume 1: Multiple Counts of Attempted World Domination
Chapter 3: Threeway Battle
11
"Citizens, you must not do this. Please, stop. Do not touch the merchandiiise!"
"Hey, what the hell! I told you, no touching that without permission!"
Princess Sonia and Souda-san couldn't handle the crowd. Appearing openly as students of Hope's Peak Academy had backfired on them, in the sense that they couldn't start killing off the people of Prague as easily as they had before.
The people of the crowd were giving it their all against the odds. Some were now trying to climb the crane and usurp the platform Princess Sonia was standing on. It was true that taking that platform might have been the quickest available route to reach Byakuya-sama.
"Citizens, please step down. It is dangerous. Only Japanese firefighters can do such a thing! There is something called the dezome-shiki..."[1]
Princess Sonia's trivia was drowned out by an ear-splitting noise. A high-pitched sound that felt like it would shatter my eardrums... no, it felt like it would break my ears entirely. I reflexively covered them, but a stabbing pain still laid waste to the inside of my head.
Next came a sudden gust that rocked the steeple. "Ooohhhh nooooooo!" Princess Sonia's slender body seemed to drift off of the platform, and she was blown far off into the distance. If she were Baikinman, there's no doubt this is where she'd be shouting "Bye-baikiiin!"[2]
What the hell is going on?
Before I realized it, the whole site had become shrouded in massive clouds of dust kicked up from the earth. And from within it, I saw a new silhouette appear. A giant, unshapely shadow.
When it finally appeared into proper view, I could see that it was an unbelievably outrageous vehicle. What had once been a transport vehicle was now loaded with two jet engines that looked almost like crab's claws. I couldn't tell what meaning or purpose it had. It wasn't quite a weapon and it wasn't quite a vehicle—it was just extremely lopsided.
Like a true Millennial, I immediately turned to my search engine in my time of need.
BORGES=SEARCHRESULT
#41908870
CLASS\WEAPONS
TITLE "URAGAN"
A mine clearance vehicle developed by the Czechoslovak People's Army in the 1960s. Originally conceived of as a machine to melt snow at airports, it uses jet exhaust to strip away the ground's surface layer, causing landmines to be blown away; since detonating the mines was more economical, it was retired from military service, and ways to further repurpose it have been developed. However, in practice, the unusual amount of dirt that is kicked up in the process of using it does not make it much more efficient for any type of personnel to use, so plans were frozen.
There were two people riding on that failure of a weapon. They were both wearing white lab coats. One was a red-headed man who was carrying an umbrella despite the perfect fair weather. The other was a girl who I couldn't possibly see as older than an elementary school student, who was nevertheless the one controlling the Uragan.
The whirr of the jet engines reverberating, they sacrilegiously rode the Uragan over the gravestones to approach the Church of Bones.
"Mmm mmph. MmmMMMmmph." Hiroyuki-san sounded like he was trying to say something. Was he still doing the zipping his lips thing?
"Forget about that, just, please tell me whatever it is."
"Those guys are from the Hasegawa Research Institute!"
BORGES=SEARCHRESULT
#65926750
CLASS\INSTITUTIONS
TITLE "HASEGAWA RESEARCH INSTITUTE"
Directed by Yoshinobu Hasegawa, this research institute is not limited to a specific field, but performs research for all disciplines. A highly confidential institution, they do not publish a single report or paper on the results of their research. Though the administrative offices operate out of the famous enterprise MacGuffin Computers Inc. (USA), they have consistently refused to comment on the Hasegawa Research Institute.
Even to someone like me, who had deeper involvement with conglomerates and organizations than the average person, the Hasegawa Research Institute was something of an urban legend. Everyone knew it was there. Everyone knew its name and location. But nobody knew anyone who actually worked there. There was no shortage of rumors—friends of friends developing new medications, acquaintances of acquaintances doing human experimentation at a facility deep in the mountains, and so on—but the number of people who actually knew anything for sure was a big fat zero.
"The Hasegawa Research Institute? You don't mean the Hasegawa Research Institute, do you?" So, even a question like that wasn't totally pointless for me to ask.
"I think that's the only one there is." Hiroyuki-san shrugged.
"The Hasegawa Research Institute wants Byakuya-sama too?"
"To be more precise, it's the Secret to the Togami Family's Prosperity that they're after. There's tons of people who want to get their hands on that. The Ketouin Conglomerate and the Hasegawa Research Institute are just the tip of the iceberg."
I would have liked to have heard more details, but the world wasn't about to wait. As soon as I thought I heard that high-pitched, ear-splitting noise again... the sound of the jet engines in motion... the Uragan had already begun its attack. Bakkooooom! The picture of Princess Sonia's face on the side of the cargo container collapsed in on itself violently. Souda-san sat panicking in the driver's seat without actually moving the dekotora.
"Souda-san, evasive maneeeeuuuveeers!" Princess Sonia's voice. I saw her drifting on the wind, parachute open.
But the dekotora did not move, and the Uragan, merciless, took the opportunity to assault the cargo container with the pressure from its jet engines. Bakoom bakoom bakoom! Pop pop pop!
Part of the crowd got caught up in the blast, smashed like cherry tomatoes. Maybe the rest of them realized that the difficulty level of this bonus stage was far beyond their ability, because they fled from the vicinity like newborn spiders scattering.
"Hmph. What boring idiots," Byakuya-sama huffed, displeased. "If they cling to their lives so desperately, they shouldn't have tried to play the game in the first place."
"Souda-san, please move the dekotora!" Princess Sonia ran up to take the crowd's place, her parachute now gone.
"Sonia-san, even if you're the one asking me to do it, that still doesn't make me able to do it!" Souda-san poked his head out of the driver's seat window, half-crying. "I seriously can't! I'm gonna get carsick and throw up right away..."
Princess Sonia, likely realizing that Souda-san wasn't willing to negotiate his boundaries, threw him out and started driving the dekotora herself.
The grounds weren't very large, so the two weapons moved around in circles, knocking down gravestones like dominoes as they went. The giant tires kicked up dirt and flowers, leaving countless tire tracks. Princess Sonia had some pretty decent driving techniques, and she circled around to end up behind the Uragan. Since the Uragan could only attack from the front, it couldn't do anything now except try its hardest to dodge.
"H-Hiiieeekk..." Souda-san was running around, avoiding the lumps of iron swerving to and fro.
"Souda-san, what are you doing over there?"
"You're the one who friggin' shoved me out of the truck, Sonia-san!"
"Hurry and hop on the dekotora."
"That is impossible in SO many ways! I'm gonna bawl and hurl everywhere!"
"But I cannot combine by myself."
"Come again?"
"I would like to combine with you, Souda-san."
"Come again?"
"As I said, I would like to combine..."
"Sonia-san. I'm taking a high-res audio recording now, so can you say that same thing one more time?"
"Just hurry and get in!" He'd pissed her off.
It might be appropriate to say it was like the adrenaline rush someone gets at the scene of the fire—in an astounding display of reflexes, Souda-san grabbed onto the moving dekotora and pulled himself up into the driver's seat.
"Jack oooooonnnnnnn!"[3]
The instant that Princess Sonia's sonorous shout rang out, the kerchank kerchank of mechanical movement started up. Arms extended, legs came out, and what emerged was—
"Prepare to face the Boss Dekotora!"
A humanoid robot. It was a robot that was very passionately designed to look like a stereotypical juvenile delinquent, like the kind you would find around high schools in Hiroshima. The driver's seat was now positioned in the robot's chest, and in it sat Princess Sonia, smiling ear to ear, and Souda-san, blue in the face.
It would have been crass to stoop so low as to make fun of this thing, so everyone begrudgingly let it slide. The Boss Dekotora spread its limbs to mitigate the knockback, and fired a cannon with a shout of "Back Button Fire!" The Uragan, which couldn't be expected to have very strong defenses, turned very forcefully to avoid it, but the Boss Dekotora immediately aimed again, and with a "Delinquent High School Beam!", I'm not entirely sure why but, it fired another bullet. The Uragan couldn't turn fast enough to dodge.
Boom!
However... the bullet flew off in a completely different direction, exploding in midair.
"How weak," came a voice. "Attacks from those who will not settle things with their fists are all too weak."
In the middle of this battlefield where weapon was clashing against weapon stood a flesh and blood human being. This person stood tall, arms crossed and legs spread apart, and—were they giving a speech right there on the battlefield?
"The call of the heavens. The call of the earth. The call of the people. They call me to vanquish despair. Heed my words, fellowship of despair. I am the warrior of hope, the Masked Muscle!"
Although, no matter how I looked at them, I couldn't see them being anyone other than Oogami-san in a mask...
Translator's Notes
[1] dezome-shiki - literally "debut ceremony", it is an annual firefighters' event held on New Year's, where firefighters traditionally present firefighting techniques to the public... and also do really cool stunts on ladders.
[2] Baikinman - the main villain from the popular children's series Anpanman, and "baibaikin" is what he says when he's defeated and blown away, similar to Team Rocket's blasting off again. It's a portmanteau of "bye-bye" and "baikin" (bacteria), from his name.
[3] Jack on! - the phrase used in the anime Armored Police Metal Jack to start the armor transformation sequence. Like in this video!
Stay tuned for the next update next Sunday (PST)!
Feel free to comment, keeping these rules in mind!